Nearly every
kid had this dream. However I was actually going to live it out. I was going to
be a rock star, nay, a rock god. And what better place to start than my 8th
grade talent show?
My friends
and I, The Chuck Norris Experience, had played at the talent show the year
before, but this year was going to be for real. In 7th grade, the
show was a disaster: our drummer broke his arm several days before the show,
and one of our guitarists never showed up the run-through the day before. So
our performance of “Hypnotize” by System of a Down wasn’t the most astounding
show ever. To make things worse, as an awkward teenager going through puberty,
my crackly voice couldn’t compare to Serj Tankien’s deep baritone. I was an
amateur singer at best, but I had played bass guitar since 5th grade
and felt like a virtuoso.
Despite
this, we were determined to make this year a success. We dropped the unreliable
guitarist, so it was just me on the bass guitar/lead vocals, the same
guitarist, and our currently healthy drummer. For our comeback, we even changed
our band’s name. We were became Shibblebibblebobenyxgen. (Pronounced shibble-bibble-bobben-yixjen. We had to
fill in an application to audition for the show and when we couldn’t think of a
name our guitarist just wrote down something nonsensical. It was intended to be
unpronounceable). We also changed our style, moving from mainstream rock to
covering the Punk stylings of AFI (not the American Film Institute). We
carefully selected two of our favorite songs of theirs: “Rabbits are Roadkill
on Route 37” and “I Wanna Get a Mohawk (But Mom Won’t Let Me Get One).” The
first piece is a more melodic, developed piece, while the second is just a
fast, humorous piece that would get the crowd moving since we were the last
act.
On the night
of the show, I got ready in my room filled with anxiety and excitement. I put
on a tight black t-shirt with some skateboard company’s logo on it, and my
skinniest pair of jeans. The ensemble was complete with a pair of vans, a black
wristband, and my hair covering part of my eyes (I liked to believe I was an
emblem of punk/scene fashion, but I realize I wasn’t at all). I grabbed my
Peavey Fury IV bass guitar and had my mom drive me to the school in her white
minivan (so hardcore) to warm up with my band mates.
As 8th
graders, we were the kings of middle school, or so we thought. We waited around
ready to play, having to sit through a rendition of The Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction”
performed by the 6th grade’s Oak Street (or Oak Stink as we, the “cool”
8th graders referred to them). We finally went on. The teacher emceeing
the show announced us: “and now, the final act, Shibbie...bibbie…bobbie…sneezer?”
We opened with “Rabbits…” to warm the crowd up. Our guitarist sang this song and it went over well. He was the most talented at his instrument of the three of us, plus he could sing well too. After this came my time to shine. The bass line in “I Wanna
Get a Mohawk” is fast and difficult, and this along with singing seemed like it
would be near-impossible for me. But, we killed it. The crowd loved us, with
people saying we were one of the best acts.
I never did become a rock star. However I did play in several ska bands in high school with a different group of friends. Maybe one day....there's still hope.
I never did become a rock star. However I did play in several ska bands in high school with a different group of friends. Maybe one day....there's still hope.
"Rabbits are Roadkill on Route 37" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrUxntzGPzA
"I Wanna Get a Mohawk" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOMAhGzMclM
Billy,
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was good! It was light and fun, which reminded me of my middle school days. Also, I connected to this story because I remembered my pitiful attempts at singing in the talent show of my elementary school. Let's just say that didn't go as planned. As far as making this sketch into a full blow story, I would start by giving more of a lead in into the meat of the story. Maybe a short paragraph about your dream to become a "rock god" would be a good way to do this. Also, within the story add lots of details. I think the best short stories are focused on the details, especially in critical events (like the actual performance). Finally, I would suggest trying to give each of the characters in the story some sort of depth. Giving everyone names and some short conversation sections could serve this purpose. Gaining a sense of connection to the author and his experience will be key in making this a full blow coming of age story. So far, it looks great and if you do choose to expand this story it could be developed into a great piece.
Good Luck!
Zach
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Billy!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this sketch. I've actually heard you tell this same story more or less in person and I think you should feel very proud of your work. I'm a person who 9 times out of 10 prefers face-to-face conversations to reading, but this sketch was just as effective at maintaining my interest (not to mention making me laugh) as actually talking with you in person.
I would say that the strength of this sketch is the sheer amount of voice that shines through. Your personality and humor work together to make this quite an enjoyable read. I've read some of your other sketches that you've posted since this one and it's clear that music plays an important role in your life. If you choose to expand upon this sketch for your final coming-of-age story, I would suggest combining elements from your "Slappin da bass mon!" sketch. Both have to do with your musical upbringing/background/influences, and I think they would go well together.